We get asked that question a lot lately. How are you doing? How are you feeling? Are you nervous? Afraid? Stressed? If ‘something’ happens, what will you do? What are your plans?
I thought I might take some time today to address these questions. I do this in part to give people (our friends, family, supporters…) answers to them, but I also want to write about this as a way to figure out for myself what I actually am feeling. Many of these emotions are negative ones. I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining; I just need a way to decompress a little bit by expressing what I’m feeling in writing. Probably, the most pressing emotion I’ve felt for the last several weeks is feeling overwhelmed. I’ll start there.
Overwhelmed: After escalated violence struck Kyiv a few weeks ago (February 18-20), Nate and I decided to go to Budapest, Hungary (where my parents live) to visit for a short time and get some distance from the situation here. Several other KCA families and teachers (as well as some other missionaries) also took some time away, and KCA canceled school for a full week (we did online material with our students for most classes). Since we got back from Budapest on March 3, our lives have been a flurry of activity. 3rd quarter at school ended March 7, and I have been very busy getting assignments and essays graded from before our trip, from our online days, and from students who were traveling while we were gone and even some who have only recently returned. Amidst that business, we have been reading the news every day and hearing more about Russia’s invasion in Crimea, the illegal referendum, the possibility of a Russian invasion of Ukraine, and just so much potential for a whole lot to happen in a short amount of time. It’s overwhelming.
Uncertain: As is the case with many of our friends and coworkers here in Kyiv, we are plagued by uncertainty many days. We go to bed unsure if we’ll definitely have school the next morning. We wake up not knowing if something serious has happened overnight. We wonder if it’s safer to leave Kyiv and go to Budapest again, or even to go back to America for a while. We go to school not knowing how many of our students or teachers will be there with us that day. We check the news all day, waiting for any definite, specific information that could leave us feeling more secure.
Anxious: I wouldn’t say that fear is an emotion I am feeling very often. I am not afraid of Russia, of Putin, or that we are in real physical danger here right now. Let me say that again. We are safe. I am still feeling anxious, though. This is a feeling that accompanies uncertainty and being overwhelmed. We are busy at school, trying to get caught up from 3rd quarter and all the traveling and missed days; we spend a lot of time–probably too much–talking to other teachers and friends and family about the political situation here and the possibilities of what could happen…which are endless.
Sad: I’ve had conversations recently with students and teachers about what different families are planning if evacuation once again becomes a reality for the missionaries here. Some families will evacuate to Poland, Hungary, or a different country in western Europe. Some will go to American temporarily. Some will go to America and begin their already-planned furlough a few months early. Whatever happens, we are dealing with emotions of realizing that each day we see our students might be the last time we see them–at least for a little while. I know that sounds a bit melodramatic, but it’s the life we’re living right now.
Excited: I know, I know. How can I be excited at a time like this? In a way, it is exciting to be a part of history being made; I’ve never lived in a place like this at a time like this, when a country’s future is being decided right before my eyes. There have been times when I’ve been eager with anticipation, waiting to hear what will happen next. More often than not, the results have been sad. BUT, God is at work in Ukraine! That is the most exciting part! Ukraine is a predominately Russian-orthodox nation in terms of religion, but over these last few months of turmoil, all denominations and peoples of different belief systems and churches have come together at Maidan to pray for God’s blessing and guidance for their country. Amid violence, upheaval, and so many shocking events, God is guiding His people together. We have seen stories of forgiveness, of grace and mercy, and most importantly, of hope. In a post-Soviet era Eastern European country, hope is often missing. Yet, God showed up at Maidan. He is showing up in Crimea. He is showing up in the hearts of people all over Ukraine who are realizing that while the world is uncertain, God is certain. While the world is evil, God is good. When the world seems hopeless, God offers hope. That has been so exciting to see!
How can you be praying for us?
We are so thankful for so many people who have lifted us up in prayer. There are people I’ve heard about praying for us whom I don’t even know! Thank you! Prayer is, in many ways, the only real action we can take in Ukraine right now. Here are some specific ways to continue that:
1. Pray for Ukraine. Pray for this nation specifically. Pray for its people to be unified, to remain calm and wise (and peaceful, for as long as it is possible). Pray for people here to be drawn to God. Pray for Ukrainian Christians to have opportunities to spread the hope and love of Christ among the people they interact with. Pray for their physical safety, especially as the military mobilizes in preparation for war. Pray for Ukraine!
2. Pray for Vladimir Putin. Many people have been saying things recently about Russia, like “Russia is invading Crimea,” or “Russia is pressuring Ukraine.” The country of Russia is not doing these things. The president of Russia is doing these things. It is hard to watch this pressure and this evil taking place at the order of this one man. We have prayed, and continue to pray, for God to change Putin’s heart. We know God is capable of changing hearts! Proverbs 21 says that the hearts of kings are in the hand of the Lord, like streams of water. He turns them any way he wishes. My mom has been reminding us of that verse, and we also talked about it at church yesterday. God can change people. He can change their minds and their hearts. However, we also know that in the case of Moses and the Israelites wanting to escape Egypt, God hardened Pharaoh’s heart. Sometimes, he chooses to act that way in order to bring greater glory to himself through the circumstances. It’s hard to understand why God makes certain decisions at certain times. Whatever happens, there is no one who does not deserve prayer that God will reach him.
3. Pray for our students! This has been a challenging time for our kids. They are living in a crazy time of uncertainty in the country many of them have called home for several years. Evacuation seems like the end of the world to some of these students, simply because there is no other place in the world that they can call home. Seniors are worrying that they might not be able to finish their senior year here in Kiev with their friends. Many younger students don’t completely understand the situation, but everyone knows something big is happening. With all the uncertainty we feel, I can’t imagine what life must be like right now for our kids. Please pray for them!
4. Pray for our co-workers. We have a few KCA teachers who have already evacuated (for a second time in just a few weeks) to locations outside of Ukraine. Many other families are considering the same possibility, especially if Russian invasion becomes more active or violent, or moves toward Kiev. Please pray for the safety of our staff and friends, but also for wisdom. It is hard for us to make decisions about leaving Kiev, even for a short time. Nate and I have been looking forward to getting back to the U.S. this summer, but I’m not ready to go quite yet! Pray for guidance and wisdom from God in these decisions- should we stay? should we go? If we go, how long? Will we come back? When? How much should we pack? many unanswered questions.
5. Pray for us. Pray all of these above requests for us, as well as wisdom in our own decisions about the future. Pray for our ministry at school, that we will be committed to teaching and loving our students above everything else. Pray that we would be an encouragement to others and a shining example of Christ’s hope and love here in Ukraine. Pray that our financial support for our ministry here would continue to come in (we are still short quite a bit of our monthly support, and have had several unexpected expenses recently). Pray that, above all, we will glorify God with our lives.
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for praying. Please continue! Feel free to be in contact with us by commenting here, writing to us on Facebook (Cassie Baird and Nate Baird), or emailing us at cass0909@gmail.com or baird.nathan@gmail.com .
If you feel led to support us financially, especially by giving a one-time gift to help with possible evacuation expenses, visit this website to donate: http://www.gofundme.com/60bua8
We love and appreciate you! Thank you for being a part of what God is doing in Ukraine.
Beyond the Babushka 